INDIAN TRAFFIC

India has 5 types of public vehicle. Firstly, it is Rikishaw, Secondly bus. Thirdly Taxi, Fourthly Convoy in Transformers. As everybody who is reading this blog is not so foolish, you may realize that the Convoy is totally lie.

Lie story does not make any thing. Therefore I would like to tell real story.
There is codename RX-78 Next generation vehicle RIKISHAW in India. The first prototype of Rikisha was rubbed by Prof. Mohed who was Chief Development Officer of Rikisha. Then he covered up Rikishaw in South-America. However, Test driver Gandhi-Othello got it back from the professor. And then, he took it to India.
As it is Next generation vehicle, Rikishaw is totally different to our well-know vehicle, Firstly it has only 3 wheels. Secondly windshield wiper is manual type. Thirdly its engine seems to come from 30 years ago, which is easy to stop. Fourthly its speed mater does now work well. What’s more, it can’t go back. It means to cut away some fat, so you may understand Rikishaw is well customized as next generation vehicle.

As a result of this story, Production model of Rikisha has spread out all over the India. You would catch many Rikishaws in your site on Indian street. You would also see Taxi on street. Also Indian taxi isn’t our well-know vehicle. You may think that Japan has Taxi too. Yes, you may be right, it is named taxi, so it has common point to Japanese taxi which is to have 4 wheels, that’s it.
The design concept of Indian taxi is also to cut away some fat. Firstly it does not have any side mirrors. Secondly windshield wiper is manual type. Thirdly its engine is easy to stop. Fourthly its speed mater does now work well. Fifthly it does not have AC. Be Next generation style customized.

One day, I went to Victoria station where takes almost an hour from my place. At that time, I realized a guy in taxi which I caught. “Well? Is he navigator?” I asked so, but I could not get any clear answer. But after half an hour later, I could understand him. We got engine stop on highway. I pushed our taxi with the guy. He is the man to push the taxi when it gets engine stop. We pushed the taxi almost 10 M, finally engine made sound. “OK! Let’s ride in!” I could get happiness of life on highway.

There are so great Taxi and Rikishaw in India. Such super vehicles have super drivers without wondering. The super Indian drivers do not follow to law, but they don’t make any traffic accident. I guess India does not have anytraffic laws which sound far from modern. What’s more they can drive very well. My surprise is they can accurate speed even in big rain. I mean that they don’ use window wiper, because it is manual type. Therefore I have only one word. They are super drivers.
They may be able to drive without sight.

I bet Indian has secret function with them. It would be that a dot on Indian brow. It might have miracle power to give them 6th sense, which contacts with something.

According to my guessing, that dot on Indian brow receives signals by all satellites (the almanac) high above the Earth. Indian drivers calculate the arrival time of each message to measure the distance to each satellite. It might seem that three satellites would be enough to solve for a position, since space has three dimensions.

Please don’t say it is impossible, because Indian people are mastery of multiplication tables, as you know. Such culculation of 3 dimensions is easy for Indian.

ENGLISH/JAPANESE

Cookingbar

I mentioned about my maid before, there are maid again at this time.

Maid “What would you like lunch box today?”
Me “Everything is OK, except for curry”
Maid “How about sandwich?”
Me “Sounds good, you can use ham in a fridge”
Maid “It is already over”
Me “How about sausage?”
Maid “It is already finish”
Me “Then, what do we have?”
Maid “Cookingbar, I will cook sandwich with Cookingbar”
Me “Sounds good! Anyway, what is cookingbar you said?”
Maid “Cookingbar means Cookingbar”
Me “I can’t understand Hindu as you know, please say it in English”
Maid “Cookingbar is English”

After her saying, she took a cucumber from a fridge.

Maid “This is Cookingbar!”
Me “Hey! It is cucumber!”

My English is also Japanese English, which is not so fantastic. But I think cucumber is not Cookingbar.

By the way, this story is not related to main theme of this essay. The point of this essay is smoking. From 2nd of this month, Indian government has started to forbid smoking inside every building strictly. Australia also forbid smoking, but smoking in Pub can be allowed. So it is much stricter than Australia.
Ridiculous.

And even outside, it does not seem to allow smoking in commence area. Sidewalk means commence area, so we have to smoke on street where cars run.
Dangerous.

What’s more, even at home, if maid feels bad, it does not seem to allow smoking.
Unbelievable.

As I am a heavy smoker, it is bothering to me. My boss says “You would be better stop smoking at this good opportunity” What is he saying? If I can do, I would have already stopped it. Actually, I decide to stop smoking at least 5 times a year, it means I fail it 5 times a year.
Stupid me.

As I got heat up, I felt dizzy. So I started to smoke…
The time when I was being with Marlboro’s smoke, maid comes to me.

Maid “Akey! Cookingbar!”
Me “Shut up…”

Cookingbar

Australian summer night memory

It was in summer of 2003.
The Whistle of Ship, which was cruising around Daring Harbor sounded slightly.
I ordered Coke & Vodka, and had small talk with a bartender.
“How are you going?” sounded like just casual conversation, as my talking never has any meanings.

I caught a glanced one lady.
I did not mean appealing romantic interest to her as she asked me to come to the bar.

Jane repeated same thing to that she talked at telephone.

“Don’t duel on the past” I mumued.
It was no wonder that nobody came to her birthday party, because she had left Sydney almost for 2 months, and then suddenly she came back saying about her birthday.

I came to this bar as expected to hear her negative talking.
I can listen to her this night, has given up myself, and then put my empty glass on that counter, and then asked a bartender, saying “Please one more”

“Heartbreak?” the bartender mumued.

No, it was not such romantic story. As you know every body wants to come out their mind one day. Sorry as it is not so deep story, but please listen to her, if you don’t mind.

I pointed out lighting up pool, saying “How about one game?”

While Jane’s ball is hitting side of coussion, my ball was stopped.

My first stroke gave two striped balls pocketed in.

“You are solid”

“I know” she replied.

In this country, 8 balls rule is common to play.
Effective of the movie “hassler”, 9 balls rule is common in that country which is located upon this country. I think 8 balls rule is more suitable for drinking at such bar place, because 9 balls rule has more possibility to finish with one shot immediately. 8 balls play style fits into drinking.

After I pocketed 3 striped balls in, my white ball has lost.

“You don’t need to give me handicap” she said.

Who gives handicap? Actually I admired myself to pocket even 3 balls.

Before she hands a que, I ordered a grass of liquor.
“You have not drunk any liquor until now, please drink before your shot”
I passed Jack Daniel to her.

She drunk up grass of Jack Daniel, saying “Yes, I might be unfair, as have not drunk any liquor”

She never takes any romantic action… I turned her.
I interrupted something her to try to say, “please shot”

Her solid ball was pocketed in, then her white ball hit side of cussion.
“Can I shot again?”

“Sure, it is rule”

Unfortunately, her 2nd shot hit my striped ball, however she showed her smile finally when she took her 2nd glass.

I won at first game.

I don’t remember how many games we did until Daring Harbor got sunlight,
I have recalled memory of the night in Australia.

ENGLISH/JAPANESE

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

As I told my maid can be a translator for Hindi before, I will mention about her mysterious English at this time.

We can manage to communicate each other some how, so it is good enough as a housekeeper. However her English does not have any time tense.
I can try to understand it without time tense on grammatically. But the most problem is that she does not remember time words such as Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

TODAY is
ToouDauiie, OK? ToouDauiie. I taught her it with heavy southern drawl as like George Bush or Steven Paul Jobs.

THE DAY BEFORE TODAY is
Yastardauiie, OK? Yastardauiie oah mai toablo simo so fae eei ♪ It is John, Paul, George and Ringoo ♪

THE DAY AFTER TODAY is
Toamaoulaoue, OK? Toamaoulaoue The Day After Tomorrow by Roland Emmerich film.

My maid became to think them over with serious face.
Please don't think over them too much.

Me “Anyway, did you clean my room as I asked you?”
Maid “ Yastardauiie oah mai toablo simo so fae eei♪”
Me “You don’t need to song it...”

ENGLISH/JAPANESE

Magic TV

One evening,
When I got back to my flat, my maid was watching to TV without any sounds.

Me “I think you would be better turn volume up TV, wouldn’t you?”
Maid “TV has a problem.”
Me “I think you are more strange than TV.”
Maid “It is sound problem!”

Perhaps Indian does not know about remote controller that is great modern gadget, as I doubt. So I passed her a remote controller.

Me “Push that button for volume up.”
Maid “No, it does not work.”

I could not think so, therefore I tried to push it by myself.

Me “OH! It is giving to turn volume off!”
Maid “Yes, Remote controller does not accept our commands.”

Unbelievable! I tried to check some buttons on TV itself directly for a hour.
Incredible! Fantastic! I found Lightness setting button gives to volume up!

Therefore, I asked my maid to make claim against lease company, but she does not seem to willing to do so, saying "it is better than no sounds as it is Indian TV. "

...It was 11PM.
Maid "I will go to bed."
Me "Have a good dream."

As she went to dream, I could feel my own private time finally.I am sipping brandy glass with genteel action, humming “Cheers good night!”
“The Gold Rush - Charlie Chaplin” was being broadcasted on TV which is finally solved with its sound problem.

Sound does not matter…

ENGLISH/JAPANESE